Nick-a WHAT? The Page Girls Head to the Nickelodeon Hotel
So, my good friend Patty invited us to meet her and her two little ones at the Nickelodeon Hotel in Orlando on Friday. With hubby out of town for work, it sounded like a fun little mini-trip with my girls. File this one under "Sounded Like a Great Idea at the Time". First, a major shout-out to Patty, who is probably the best person I've met to do something like this with. She is unflappable, patient and kind. She is yang to my ying. I'm freaking out, she's calm and collected. A duck that lets things just rrolllllll off her back. Me? Not so much.
After the 257th time MidKid says, "Are we there YET?" on the 75 minute drive to the hotel, we arrive. Pay our $15 parking fee (rip off) and bring in our three tons of stuff we just can't do without for the next 18 hours. The kids spot the giant "play zone" on the way in and about break their legs trying to get their bathing suits on as quickly as possible. Now, this thing looks like a medival torture device, all metal and water and clanging and banging with kids running around with a crazed look in their eyes, pushing each other out of the way to be the first one down a slide in freezing water. Add a few giant Spongebobs, Timmys and Jimmy Neutrons and you have the second gate to hell looking at you. Just thank the good Lord that it's enclosed in a VTR-proof metal fence.
My two bigger girls run off with goggles on to attack the thing and Veloci-Torrey Raptor barely pauses enough to put on her swim vest (more on that later) before she runs, full on, into the zero-entry swimming pool. I swear, I get the craziest looks from other parents with her. Imagine, a 2 year old toddler running full steam into a swimming pool, chubba legs a blur, and then face-planting into the water. She bobs back up, thanks to the vest, and looks at me with the biggest grin on her face! She dog-paddles to the side, climbs out of the water and proceeds to cannonball back in, over and over again. Hence the vest.
Of course, being that the Nick Hotel attract several international guests wh0 apparently don't believe in bathing suits for children, much less.....SWIM DIAPERS, we were forced out of the pool not once, not twice but THREE TIMES in the next two hours. Floaters! And I'm not talking about my toddler in the swim vest, either. The close the pool for 30 minutes each time for "cleaning'. Yeah, right. The only cleaning taking place was the guy with the net. They use that 30 minutes to wipe your memory of the event because if they added any more chlorine to that water, we'd all look like albinos. God knows when I first went into the pool, I had a purple bathing suit on. It was gray in about three hours.
But, I digress. After numerous temper tantrums about why we can't go back into the water, VTR deciding she was going back in whether they liked it or not, getting yelled at by lifeguards, having several Pina Coladas to dull the pain, hair wraps, temporary tattoo, slime bucket (oh yeah, that too), chasing VTR, losing kids, finding kids, losing them again, finding them again, more Pina Coladas, pizza, chicken, arcade, soda, french fries and numerous other mishaps and adventures, we settle down for bed. Oh, the fun has just begun.
We've got Big Girl in the top bunk, Patty's toddler boy in the bottom bunk, Patty and her big girl in the king bed, VTR on the blow up bed and Midkid and I on the pull out sofa. All of this in our 'suite" that was about the size of my kitchen. Everyone finally passed out from sheer exhaustion about midnight. Start the fun! Bathroom at 2am. VTR up at 245 wanting milk. Won't go back to sleep. I can't go back to sleep. Midkid kicking me all night. Stealing covers. I get up to go to the bathroom at 330. Looks like a frat house - I have french fries sticking to my feet, I'm stepping over bodies everywhere, kicking soda cans out of the way, hear snoring and the like. The only thing that's missing is the fat guy in the corner, belching and tripping over beer cans and bras. Poor Patty gives up at 4am and starts grading papers on her computer. VTR wakes up and wants to join me in the double-size pull out sofa. She cozies up on my left, MidKid's on my right and I'm in the middle in my kid burrito and DON'T DARE MOVE AN INCH. They are asleep, oh heavenly day but what about me? Let's just say that I finally fell asleep with a pudgy paw on my forehead, no blankets and a foot on my stomach. Good times.
Morning comes, Patty makes coffee, kids are bleary-eyed and want to go back in the water. Oh hell no. I think Patty & I set a land-speed record getting packed and into the car. Thank goodness the water park from hell didn't open before we had to check out and leave. I have to say, we had fun, we had tears, we had lots and lots of laughter. Was it worth it? Yep. Would I do it again? Of course! Anything for the kids, right? RIGHT?
Thanks to Ms. Patty for the hospitality, the laughs and the booze. Couldn't have done it without you!!!!
After the 257th time MidKid says, "Are we there YET?" on the 75 minute drive to the hotel, we arrive. Pay our $15 parking fee (rip off) and bring in our three tons of stuff we just can't do without for the next 18 hours. The kids spot the giant "play zone" on the way in and about break their legs trying to get their bathing suits on as quickly as possible. Now, this thing looks like a medival torture device, all metal and water and clanging and banging with kids running around with a crazed look in their eyes, pushing each other out of the way to be the first one down a slide in freezing water. Add a few giant Spongebobs, Timmys and Jimmy Neutrons and you have the second gate to hell looking at you. Just thank the good Lord that it's enclosed in a VTR-proof metal fence.
My two bigger girls run off with goggles on to attack the thing and Veloci-Torrey Raptor barely pauses enough to put on her swim vest (more on that later) before she runs, full on, into the zero-entry swimming pool. I swear, I get the craziest looks from other parents with her. Imagine, a 2 year old toddler running full steam into a swimming pool, chubba legs a blur, and then face-planting into the water. She bobs back up, thanks to the vest, and looks at me with the biggest grin on her face! She dog-paddles to the side, climbs out of the water and proceeds to cannonball back in, over and over again. Hence the vest.
Of course, being that the Nick Hotel attract several international guests wh0 apparently don't believe in bathing suits for children, much less.....SWIM DIAPERS, we were forced out of the pool not once, not twice but THREE TIMES in the next two hours. Floaters! And I'm not talking about my toddler in the swim vest, either. The close the pool for 30 minutes each time for "cleaning'. Yeah, right. The only cleaning taking place was the guy with the net. They use that 30 minutes to wipe your memory of the event because if they added any more chlorine to that water, we'd all look like albinos. God knows when I first went into the pool, I had a purple bathing suit on. It was gray in about three hours.
But, I digress. After numerous temper tantrums about why we can't go back into the water, VTR deciding she was going back in whether they liked it or not, getting yelled at by lifeguards, having several Pina Coladas to dull the pain, hair wraps, temporary tattoo, slime bucket (oh yeah, that too), chasing VTR, losing kids, finding kids, losing them again, finding them again, more Pina Coladas, pizza, chicken, arcade, soda, french fries and numerous other mishaps and adventures, we settle down for bed. Oh, the fun has just begun.
We've got Big Girl in the top bunk, Patty's toddler boy in the bottom bunk, Patty and her big girl in the king bed, VTR on the blow up bed and Midkid and I on the pull out sofa. All of this in our 'suite" that was about the size of my kitchen. Everyone finally passed out from sheer exhaustion about midnight. Start the fun! Bathroom at 2am. VTR up at 245 wanting milk. Won't go back to sleep. I can't go back to sleep. Midkid kicking me all night. Stealing covers. I get up to go to the bathroom at 330. Looks like a frat house - I have french fries sticking to my feet, I'm stepping over bodies everywhere, kicking soda cans out of the way, hear snoring and the like. The only thing that's missing is the fat guy in the corner, belching and tripping over beer cans and bras. Poor Patty gives up at 4am and starts grading papers on her computer. VTR wakes up and wants to join me in the double-size pull out sofa. She cozies up on my left, MidKid's on my right and I'm in the middle in my kid burrito and DON'T DARE MOVE AN INCH. They are asleep, oh heavenly day but what about me? Let's just say that I finally fell asleep with a pudgy paw on my forehead, no blankets and a foot on my stomach. Good times.
Morning comes, Patty makes coffee, kids are bleary-eyed and want to go back in the water. Oh hell no. I think Patty & I set a land-speed record getting packed and into the car. Thank goodness the water park from hell didn't open before we had to check out and leave. I have to say, we had fun, we had tears, we had lots and lots of laughter. Was it worth it? Yep. Would I do it again? Of course! Anything for the kids, right? RIGHT?
Thanks to Ms. Patty for the hospitality, the laughs and the booze. Couldn't have done it without you!!!!
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